Expect Downtime!

We will post a downtime notice and asure the customer that their service isn't being pulled down, what a relief! Wait why is my internet not working!?!?!

Oh thats right because "Genau mit Eus" you will have unexpected service outages, atleast you now have us to blame even if you caused the downtime youself in your company!

Speeds that we lie about

Yes yes sir you will get 500/500Mbps SYMETRICAL!!!

Reality: Gets 500Mbps down and 50Mbps up >:) Now that's what we call a "GGA Maur! Geneau mit Eus!" Move!

Please don't sue us!

We know how scummy we are!

The actual only good thing about us is that you can cancel your internet subscription within the same month you figured out you got scammed by us! Because "Genau mit Eus" you can cancel the same month you subscribed! (We were forced to do so because of court rulings)

Ping times comparable to UMTS!

Want to have a blast back in time?

If you decide to subscribe to our beautifully overcongested DOCSIS offerings be ready because "Genau mit Eus" you will have 36MS to your Upstream Gateway!

Packet loss at all time!

Thanks to our wish.com DOCSIS Downstream Gateways!

"Genau mit Eus" you can be sure that we do not collect your data in any way as we cant even keep it in the coax cables carrying it!

Fire Networks!

Do you seek ways to commit insurance fraud?

You're at the right place! Because "Genau mit Eus" we will make sure to set your building or garage on fire this way you can cash out as much money out of otherwise worthless buildings!